Eternal Sunshine of My Spotless Mind?

I think someone is systematically erasing my life. Seriously. And it's starting to be a bit disturbing.

Do I sound paranoid? Perhaps. But when you start to look at the facts an unsettling picture emerges: Significant places in my life tend to disappear. Or rather, they are reshaped and rebranded into something different than they were when I knew them. It's like an inverse of the witness protection program. Instead of The Man changing my identity, the places in my past are being altered.

The latest in the list of changing entities? Minerals Management Services. While I never was a government employee, I was once an IT consultant at MMS. It was a job in my distant past, but one that I thought would be immune from this surreptitious erasure of which I have become increasingly aware. After all, government agencies aren't exactly known for frequent change.

But, no. It appears that MMS has rebranded in an effort to change their image after the disastrous BP oil spill. The agency is now known as the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement, or BOE. It seems Lacuna Inc. will stop at nothing to finish this job.

Of course, MMS' new identity is only the latest in a string of seemingly disconnected changes. What happened to the company where I worked before chucking it all to be a freelance writer? Oh, yes, the telecom that was devoured by a larger company and has since faded into only a memory of clunky cell phones and one really awesome commercial.

It doesn't stop with places where I have been employed either. My high school? A Catholic school that was shut down by its Diocese. How about my junior high school? My elementary school? Both restructured into a new school system. Even the program where I trained for my first, pre-Unix, Microsoft and Novell certifications has closed its doors.

Is the universe trying to tell me something? I'm not one to believe in signs, omens, coincidences, or, well... anything really, however this pattern is getting to be a bit much. What next? Will the hospital where I was born decide it needs a new image? Will the college I attended decide it needs a flashier name for the new millennium?

I get it. I'm not one to put down roots, and apparently that's the way it's supposed to be. Perhaps it's a good thing that I now work for myself. If I stay away from established schools and jobs they will not have to go through the hassle of creating new identities for themselves after I leave... Unless working for myself means that I will someday turn up with amnesia and have to recreate my own identity.

That would kinda suck.

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