10 Most Memorable Phoebe Buffay Songs

Phoebe Buffay. One of the greatest characters of TV sitcom-land, and undoubtedly the all-time most memorable coffee house music maven. She's also the reason I'll be washing my hair and suddenly my brain sings, "And Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget!"

And so, in honor of 10 seasons of Friends, here are my picks for the 10 Most Memorable Phoebe Buffay Songs-- with lyrics!

1. Smelly Cat

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet; You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses, and you're no friend to those with noses

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault

2. Sticky Shoes

My favorite shoes, so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night, not much light
I stepped in something icky

Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Always makes me smile
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Next time I'll avoid the pile

3. Holiday Song

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along
Don't try to sing along

Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumble-mumble) handler!

4. Two of Them Kissed Last Night

There was a girl we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly--this story isn't real.
(time passes)

Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-Lulie?

He must decide! He must decide!
Even though I made him up he must decide!

5. Grandma

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner

Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too La-la-la-la...

6. Don't

They'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you--
But don't!

'Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do. Everybody!
That's another thing you don't wanna do.

7. Shower Song

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget

Lather, rinse, repeat
And lather, rinse, repeat
And lather, rinse, repeat
As needed

8. Barnyard Animals

Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers.

Now chickens!

9. Little Black Curly Hair

I found you in my bed,
How did you wind up there?
You are a mystery
Little black curly hair

Little black curly hair
Little black, little black, little black, little black
Little black curly hair

10. Heart Attack

It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see,
The first one won't do it, but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger, it's time to say goodbye
That is just what I'll do, as soon as those bastards I work for die
La, la la la la la la

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