Okay, here goes. I saw Avatar the weekend before last, but I've kept my opinions about it largely to myself. (Well, to myself and Peter, but I rarely keep anything from that poor guy.) At first, I was afraid my reaction might be clouded by too-much-hype-syndrome. I thought if I gave it a little time, I might mellow and find more good in the story, but it isn't happening. In fact, the more I think about it, the more annoyed I become. I'm sorry to all you Pandora-loving fans, but I just didn't like this movie.
Here are a few of the reasons why:
(Warning: Spoilers ahead)
1. Pandora is an alien planet that didn't feel otherworldly. Sure the Na'vi are 10 feet tall, have blue skin, and brain-to-braid connectors, etc. But they felt utterly human. Same with Pandora's landscape and animals. Brightly colored, phosphorescent, but basically a big earth-like jungle with earth-like animals. Even their culture is right in line with some human cultures. {cough-Native Americans-cough}
With all the hype of this realistic alien environment and culture, I expected something more, well, alien. Something along the lines of Pan's Labyrinth or maybe something Burton-esque. There was no creep factor in Pandora, no uncomfortable sense of being out of place. The world and its people were too sanitary, too pristine. Unnaturally perfect. Humanoid cats with barely concealed boobs and exposed butts perhaps to make them seem exotic (or like exotic dancers?).
2. Avatar skipped over its only interesting concept (a.k.a. the avatars!) in about 3 minutes of screen time. There was some quick exposition to get the audience up to speed on how an avatar works, then Main Guy is off and running- literally. Okay, I get it. He's crippled and was excited to have legs again (in a way). So... everyone else has years of training and this guy is just a natural who magically figures it all out and is allowed to rush out, unprepared, into his first mission? Um, okay. But even if he was ready, I wasn't.
Not only did the movie skip over the "what it's like to control an avatar" element, they skipped the whole purpose of the avatars. Why exactly would it be better to "dress up" as an avatar to negotiate with the Na'vi people? Did they think the Na'vi wouldn't notice that they were different? How did humans expect their avatars to blend in with actual Na'vis? Turns out that wasn't deemed to be an interesting story, so we were dropped into this world after the human/avatars have bungled the negotiations, but just in time to get a retelling of the "Mother Earth vs. evil people who slaughter the indigenous people" story.
3. The avatar/human connection is non-existent. Other than a vague physical resemblance, there is basically no connection between the avatars and the humans who control them. Perhaps who they are mentally is supposed to be very different than how they are perceived as humans? But come on! Dr. Smokes-a-Lot hates Main Guy and is furious to have him there, yet when she slips into her crop-topped Na'vi self she's totally cool with it. At least Science Guy was upset at being upstaged by new, untrained Main Guy-- for about 5 minutes.
I for one felt no connection to any of them, in human or avatar form. I left the theater after 3 hours realizing that I hadn't cared enough to learn their names. To me they are Main Guy, Science Guy, and Jane Goodall-- no wait, I do think her name is Grace, but come on, Sigourney Weaver infiltrating and befriending another species? Tell me that wasn't Gorillas in the Mist, in Space!
4. No IVs, no catheters, no reclamation suits, um, how does that work? Humans lay down in these coffin-like tubes and --boom!-- instant mental connection to their avatars. Okay, now what about their bodies? Their avatars eat and their human senses can pick up on the sensations and tastes, but their bodies aren't getting any actual nourishment for hours on end. And do people in the future no longer pee?
5. Unobtainium. Yes, I know it's an actual term used in scientific circles and in sci-fi in general, but it's lame in this context. By this point wouldn't the "unobtainium" have been given an actual name of its own? Scientists do kinda seem fond of naming things, and while this mineral might be unobtainium in the "rare and hard to obtain" sense, they seemed to be using the term as the mineral's actual name, and that just bugged me.
6. The Na'vi people are painfully one-dimensional. Perhaps James Cameron spent so much money on the 3D effects that he had to take a couple of dimensions from his aliens. Maybe it's not such a good thing to be so connected to life if it makes everyone that bland and shallow.
7. Na'vi love every living thing, but force the flying dragon things into subservience against their will? Um, can we say major contradiction? Clearly there is a braid=penis vibe in this movie, why else the "if you play with it you'll go blind" joke? So am I the only one to be sickened by the rite of passage scene where the Na'vi hunters force themselves on a flying dragon thing? Blue Girl might have talked about loving the FDTs (Flying Dragon Things) and forming a lifetime bond with just one FDT, but clearly the FDTs wanted nothing to do with it, at least not until they are broken.
After completing training, the Na'vi hunter is supposed to choose its FDT and the FDT will choose it in return. The hunter will know the FDT has chosen it because it will try to kill him. WTF?!?! That's like setting a horny frat boy loose in a bar and telling him to pick a girl to rape, but it's okay because if she fights like hell to get him off then she's actually choosing him too. Ugh. Oh, but then after the rape, she'll be bonded to him for life. Yeah. That's a message we need more of in this society. And even if you take the sexual rape aspect out of it, the Na'vi are still using physical dominance to enslave another creature- for life! Hardly fitting given their supposed pantheistic culture.
8. The visuals weren't all that stunning. I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to be blown away by the realism of it all, but I wasn't. There were moments where I felt like I was inside a View-Master scene and that was pretty cool. But mostly, it felt like a video game to me. Kinda neat, but ultimately, eh. Though, I will admit a lot of the visual disappointment could have been due to the constant distraction by the tortured plot and disconnected characters.
I know, I know. It's the highest grossing movie, blah, blah, blah. But that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone loved it. It means that it had expensive 3D pricing and a lot of people checked it out because of the hype. If you loved it, great. Personally, I wish I'd trusted my instincts and not spent the 3 hours and $12 to see it.
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