21 Things I Want in a Lover

Earlier today I was listening to Under Rug Swept and thinking about 21 Things I Want in a Lover.

The song is a laundry list of -- wait for it -- 21 things Alanis wants in a lover. Okay, the subject sounds a little direct, but the song has a simple beauty. --Not to mention driving power chords over a rockin guitar riff.

We're not talking just the blonde vs. brunette type qualities, but things like, guys who don't pout when you beat them in a game or girls who don't eat pizza with a fork. Well, not those specifically...

As the lyrics explain:

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

And, yep, there are actually 21 things listed throughout the song. Here they are, cut out from the rest:

1. Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
2. Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
3. Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom?
4. Do you see everything as an illusion?
5. But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
6. Are you both masculine and feminine?
7. Politically aware?
8. And don't believe in capital punishment?
9. Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
10. Are you funny?
11. A la self-deprecating?
12. Like adventure?
13. And have many formed opinions?
14. Are you uninhibited in bed?
15. More than three times a week?
16. Up for being experimental?
17. Are you athletic?
18. Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
19. Are you not addicted?
20. Curious
21. Communicative

In interviews, Alanis has said that the list is part in fun, part in earnest, and certainly not a complete list. But if she had to pick 21 things to look for, I think she hit on some great ones. There are at least 15 of them that would make the cut for my own list!